See It, Say It, Do It

You know how you can start not to see things the way they really are?  Oh, you see them with your bodily eyes, but after looking at something for long enough without taking any action you begin not to see it. 

I have been looking at, complaining about, and ignoring the mess the disorder the chaos in our home for quite a while now.  I would love to say that it's just since we moved, but that wouldn't be true.  The fact is that it's been that way for a long time.  I also would love to say that this chaos just happened to me.  I am an innocent bystander!  I was waylaid!  I'm a victim!

A victim of what?!  Has some thug come along and tied my hands and feet together and put me in front of a speeding train?  Am I powerless to do anything around here?  Honestly, sometimes it feels like that.  I can feel so overwhelmed by all that needs to be done that I give up before I start doing anything. 

Having my friends here recently and having my parents here right now have been enlightening experiences...I have been looking around at our house through different eyes, someone else's eyes.  What do people see when they come in the front door?  Clean laundry waiting to be put away. (Not your normal amount, but more like a criminal amount.  I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds serious, doesn't it?)  Toys scattered all over the floor.  Books in piles EVERYWHERE.  Socks at the bottom of the stairs.  Mail piled up on the bookshelf.  An ironing board, for crying out loud.  It's getting worse by the day!

I feel like I'm this pot of water that won't boil, but someone has just turned up the flame.  Now there's some major heat coming by way of total humiliation at (just the thought of) someone, say from church, stopping by.  I don't want to feel that way!  I want a home that I can be happy and content to invite someone into.  (I tried really hard to make that sentence more grammatically correct...but dangit, what I ended up writing is what I want to say.  So there.)  I've written about this before, and I always come to the same conclusion-this time, I'll do better!  I'll wake up tomorrow and there'll be a fresh start waiting for me!  In many ways I think that can be true.  School is getting ready to start.  I can use the time up until then, while my parents are here, at least to begin to get a handle on things.  It would be so much better for the kids to have an orderly home, to grow up in a home where things have a place and they get put there.  We all need to work together.  Oh, these habits are so hard to start when things have been so crazy for so long. 

What got me thinking about all this tonight goes back to my longing to declare,"This is not my fault!  It is out of my control!"  I know that's just not true.  I do have some control.  I have choices to make.  They are just not easy or fun.  I suppose I have to grow up.  (Imagine me stomping my foot right about now and whining,"But I don't want to!")  My kids need a grown-up parent.  My husband needs a grown-up wife. 

Pppptttthhhhbbbttt!

I have to get it out of my system, all right?

So, I have a mini-plan for tomorrow (you know how much I love a plan, yes?)...I will put the ironing board away.  I will put the clean laundry away.  I will ask the kids to help me put away the toys and books (and pray that Eliana doesn't come following behind us undoing all that we just did), arrange the furniture in its proper place, and throw away all the trash that is in the living room.  That will be a start. 

Now, my eyes hurt from all this seeing, and my brain hurts from all this thinking and planning, so I've got to go to bed.  Plus I need to rest up for all the hard work we're going to do in the morning...starting with getting my feet on the floor and getting breakfast for the kids.

Comments

[Elaine]

Doesn't sound like fun, but good luck. If it makes you feel any better, I laid in bed this morning trying to come up with a strategy to deal with the moving boxes and the organizing that I have to do today. Misery loves company, right?

[Wendy]

Christina,
You know that I have the exact same problem! Sometimes I get motivated to tackle one of my piles of stuff, but then all the regular chores (laundry, dishes, etc) get behind schedule and it makes me feel like I'm buried deeper. It's a struggle to keep to keep the status quo and I can never get one step ahead. Maybe one of the neat people out there can give us some pointers on how to get it under control...please.

[jana]

sending extra energy and a smile your way!! I dont think I have ever been coherent enough to notice that it was indeed my fault too, thanks for that it does change the approach. seeing as I never stop moving, my one mission at every new house is to touch everything at least once and to have a place designated for every single thing. The go-to spot where it always will be. I really appreciate your honesty and sweetness and by golly you crack me up everytime!! your such a joy, have a wonderful day!

[Rebecca]

I'm proud of you Christina!!! The worker bee in me wants to just come and do it with you and I'll talk to you the whole time and we'll just get it done. I think your attitude is right - it can be done but do it in small increments. Glad your parents are helping out too! Go, girl, go!