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A Small Triumph

Today was a day I didn't want to face. I can't say why; there was no reason that I could give. I just didn't want to be up. I had no energy, no motivation. 

I did get up though. The thought of depression winning made me mad, so I guess that's one victory for me. I don't feel particularly victorious (although I even took a shower, which is extra ambitious) because the rest of the day feels like a wash.

Blah.

Anyway, at dinner the kids and I laughed about as hard as we have in a while, so that was fun. They were being particularly silly, and Christian is quite a witty character, so the combination of each one's antics made for a hilarious dinner, as well as a louder dinner than it should have been. At the end of the day, a lot of days, I try to feel good about the fact that they each went to bed relatively happy, in spite of all the things I do wrong, and in spite of the disaster of a house they live in. Believe me when I say that I want things to change, but at the same time, I am grateful that they are resilient. 

I do not, however, want that to become my excuse not to change. Just for the record. 

Some Reflections on Bonhoeffer

Bonhoeffer returns from America and hits the ground running. He met Karl Barth, he began lecturing at Berlin University, and led a confirmation class in a poverty-stricken area of North Berlin. 

Some thoughts on this chapter (8):

After inviting some of the boys in the confirmation class to his family's vacation home, he writes to his parents about that visit and makes the comment,"Only Frau S. [the housekeeper] is somewhat indignant at the proletarian invasion," which made me giggle. I think he had quite a sense of humor, which jumps out at me often in the book, and is something I appreciate a great deal. Aside from how he lived his faith out so faithfully, his humor is my favorite thing about him. 

In this chapter, Metaxas says,"Once one saw clearly what the Word of God said, one would have to act on it and its implications, such as they were. And actions in Germany at that time had serious consequences." Lately it seems that this could be true in our country as well. I don't mean to sound fanatical or alarmist, just to say we ought to take care and watch/be alert. 

There are so many things in this chapter that I want to remember: "'He taught us that the Bible goes directly into your life, [to] where your problems are;'" that Jesus lived life, it was not merely intellectual nor was it merely spiritual; and how he read the Bible every day several times.

I was thinking today and wondering at my own admiration of Bonhoeffer, and how sometimes I forget to wonder at my God and Savior. It struck me that the difference may be (subconsciously?) that Bonhoeffer was just a man and this makes what he did, what he stood for, his courage, and his faithfulness, so amazing, so admirable. Of course Jesus lived the perfect life and loved others as he did...He was God! He couldn't do otherwise. But then I thought that this actually made it equally amazing, if not more. God the Son humbled himself, from the glories of heaven and a seat next to the Father on an eternal throne, to become a man, to be like the ones whom he came to save. He came to love them as no one else could: as their Creator, as their Savior, as their brother who would give them an eternal Father. What could be greater or more astounding than that? Think of the depth of his love! Because he was God, his love and humility are amazing. I find myself wanting to be like Bonhoeffer, but I think he would be more pleased were I to say I want to be more like Jesus. I look forward to continue learning from each of them.

Some Reflections on Bonhoeffer

Bonhoeffer returns from America and hits the ground running. He met Karl Barth, he began lecturing at Berlin University, and led a confirmation class in a poverty-stricken area of North Berlin. 

Some thoughts on this chapter (8):

After inviting some of the boys in the confirmation class to his family's vacation home, he writes to his parents about that visit and makes the comment,"Only Frau S. [the housekeeper] is somewhat indignant at the proletarian invasion," which made me giggle. I think he had quite a sense of humor, which jumps out at me often in the book, and is something I appreciate a great deal. Aside from how he lived his faith out so faithfully, his humor is my favorite thing about him. 

In this chapter, Metaxas says,"Once one saw clearly what the Word of God said, one would have to act on it and its implications, such as they were. And actions in Germany at that time had serious consequences." Lately it seems that this could be true in our country as well. I don't mean to sound fanatical or alarmist, just to say we ought to take care and watch/be alert. 

There are so many things in this chapter that I want to remember: "'He taught us that the Bible goes directly into your life, [to] where your problems are;'" that Jesus lived life, it was not merely intellectual nor was it merely spiritual; and how he read the Bible every day several times.

I was thinking today and wondering at my own admiration of Bonhoeffer, and how sometimes I forget to wonder at my God and Savior. It struck me that the difference may be (subconsciously?) that Bonhoeffer was just a man and this makes what he did, what he stood for, his courage, and his faithfulness, so amazing, so admirable. Of course Jesus lived the perfect life and loved others as he did...He was God! He couldn't do otherwise. But then I thought that this actually made it equally amazing, if not more. God the Son humbled himself, from the glories of heaven and a seat next to the Father on an eternal throne, to become a man, to be like the ones whom he came to save. He came to love them as no one else could: as their Creator, as their Savior, as their brother who would give them an eternal Father. What could be greater or more astounding than that? Think of the depth of his love! Because he was God, his love and humility are amazing. I find myself wanting to be like Bonhoeffer, but I think he would be more pleased were I to say I want to be more like Jesus. I look forward to continue learning from each of them.

What Shall I Say?

No words
Just heaviness
Looking down
Sinking down
Slowly
Surely
Down